how can i be so on to it yet so out of it?

it's been a pretty bumpy week. but good. i think. 

i've realised...

• even if people have stopped coming. every single day i'm planting seeds whether i know it or not and they might well just start sprouting long after i'm out of the picture. just cause i don't see the glory of god in my time with people doesn't mean they won't. god's timing is something i dont understand but i enjoy it.
• i think my life was perfect without exception for about 9 months straight and i dont know how that is even possible. blessing flowed. i honestly saw heaps of friends come to elevate. had the best friends. good marks at school. life was honestly so beautiful. so i think when life went back to how it should be... hard but worth it. i didn't know what to do.
• naturally i just don't like telling people what's going on. but that doesn't mean i shouldn't.
• things don't actually blow over by themselves, they just appear to but are actually just pushed aside and almost without fail pop back up when it is least convenient. 
• i love people so much. is there such thing as too much? cause if there was i'd love them too much. however if the bible says to love people like jesus did then there is no too much. but definately a lot. it's beautiful, but sometimes i honestly wish i could care less.
• everyone actually has problems. which is such a simple thing that i didnt seem to understand properly. and then i find myself wishing i ordered the beautiful shell session at getsmart. typical.

John 15:18 has been on my heart lately... all i've got to work out now is whose thoughts are in my head. and you can hardly compare yourself to jesus if there's geniune reasons people don't like you. so if the world hates you all i gotsa work out is if there's reason or whether i'm just doing what's right.... but i guess it's been on my heart for a reason.

life is beautiful. that in all this nonsense can be such joy. such beauty. such peace. such love. such acceptance. all because of a saviour that died for me.

i really dont think he's an egg.

humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
couldn't put humpty together again

it could have been anything. who's decide that humpty was an egg. he could have been a really hard jigsaw puzzle. cause if one of them fell off a wall it would be pretty hard to put back together.

like this.










or it could have been the magical blue moonstone from tinkerbell and the lost treasure. because she or any of the other fairies couldn't put that back together so i doubt the kings men and horses would be able to either.

it could have been anything. so yes it could have been an egg. but it could have just as easily been like a ceramic cat.

its quarter to two.

its the time. really late at night, where you should be sleeping. or studying... and you've run out of everything else you could possibly do. that means blog time...

i am yet to decide what this blog will be about. so it will just be a brief (or potentially not so brief) summary of EVERYTHING!!

• we're in the middle of mocks. i'm the worst studier in the world, best procrastinator however. BUT i actually studied tonight, for like 4 hours and only covered one of the 12 papers i have this week... AAAAAHHH
• piano exams done and dusted. waiting for results now FREAKING OUT. and i have no teacher now... she dissapeared to dunedin after my exam. literally got on the ferry like 20 minutes after.. so i'm chillin and not playing the piano.

• elevate. where do i flippin start?? it's amazing. we're huge, in like a depth/numbers/coolness factor. it's amazing, and we're only one week into high school blitz. no bigggie.
• life's uhhh interesting? but thats always good i guess. nobody likes a boring life..
• i moved rooms. its a mess. but i enjoy having the piano and drums in my room and DOUBLE BED. praising jesus for that right there.
• Luke moved home on wednesday. it's got its perks. but we have to do groceries like every second day so thats great.
• i just realised how LITTLE there is left of the year. its freaky. then i'm 7th form. then i'm out of school. forever. before i know it i'll be like... NOT A TEENAGER. i dont like the idea that one day i'm going to be old. but it makes me laugh thinking about it.

i think this will be me. in 60 years.

this blog is quite dissapointing really. just a load of nothing.

FAIL.

naaaaw well i'm publishing it anyway. maybe i'll write another one with meaning...