addicted to blogging.

ok so i'm no really addicted , i just really enjoy it.
it's funny. so so funny, but i think God shows be stuff through blogging. maybe just through writting down what's in my head. i'm just too lazy to get a pen and write it down on paper.
but more than writing blogs though, i love reading them. it's funny cause i feel like i know people way better, so when i see them it's like hello i know what's going on in your brain at the moment.
but people are super honest, not that they're lying in real life. it's kind of just another dimension of world. really just enjoy deciphering the mysterious ones, being inspired by the uh.. inspiring ones. laughing at the funny ones. marvelling at the beautiful ones. just love them all... and people say i dont read. pffffttt.

i can smell the freedom.

so i realised the problem. it's funny cause these last few weeks I've been reminded of real simple things, things that if i told someone i'd have some huge revalation and explained it they'd probably be like 'oh this is awkward i thought she'd been a christian her whole life' sort of things.

i thought that blessing had flowed for ages then just stopped. in hindsight, that is the most ridiculous thought in the entire world, but it's cause for so long he blessed with me with stuff that seemed impossible. but today when i came out of my chemistry exam, i realised that this whole time it never stopped. It was just more subtle so i was able to just pretend it was luck, like the fact that i've prayed for every exam - and finished every paper, and actually knew the answers. and the beauty that some of the people that have come to elevate have come so so so far, and changed so much. it was like seeing them saved was amazing, but after that the fact that they changed so much and fell in love with God so much, it was just expected or something ridiculous. and that last night we had our last family dinner for three months and my bruv prayed before he went to ghana, that he took a bible with him. that everything he does is for my good, just doesn't always feel like it.

i don't really think i need glasses, because i can't imagine seeing the world clearer than i do, like i've never really been to the optometrist. for all i know i could have terrible vision, but i just don't know anything better.
i think that's what it's like before you know Jesus, or before he opens your eyes to something. we live our lives, and we don't know any different. but he has so much more for us, we just have to go to the optometrist. LOL

after tomorrow i'm pretty much free. HI-FIVE. eeeeeeeeeee. its summer, in just over 12hours.
we find out in like 2 weeks about council.
oh and Briana Foote is probably the loveliest person i know. she's amazing. life's so beaut. thats all :)

beautifulness.

honestly.
 baptism services are so amazing. i'd be lying if i pretended that i wasn't crying well before the baptiseeee's were on stage. honestly ay, eeeee. i la la la loveeee watching someone hop into the pool and actually come out a different person. like you can see it on there face. i really like how this time last year i was baptised, invited tash to come and now one year later she's being baptised. i've kind of looked at the fact that i only have one year left of school and thought it's not enough to change lives etc. But she's actually like a living testimony of how much can happen in a year. I love her so much, she really is inspiring :) such a strong leader. i wish i could get re-baptized every time we have one, but i love loving others so its gooood.

we had leaders party last night. it was fun. and awkward. and beautiful. and JUNGLERAMA omGOSH. wow it was truely a beautiful night. :) i reminded myself how much i enjoy mollie, slash a lot of cool cats. is it embarrasing that whilst attempting to be a child again i'm pretty sure i clicked something in my back, and had to like hobble out of leaders party. however like miracle over night cause i woke up fine, i just enjoy that i felt like an 80year old man. great.

it's amazing how much everything changes when i put quiet times top priority. honestly, i didn't want exams to mean i was too busy to chill with jesus, but like complete opposite. if i fail these bad boys its ok cause relationships gone to a new level in the past 10days.

stop writing blogs kate. that's all.

this week i've realised...

• to admire people that are brave enough to share their problems. cause everyone makes mistakes but half of the world pretend they're perfect and judge the ones that have the courage to tell someone or ask for help. i'm not saying that people that don't like sharing stuff are doing the wrong thing, but when someone lets someone into their head, that's true bravery right there.
• God is never wrong. It's funny how when he tells us to do something, or tells us something we so often doubt it. as if we know better than him. well he's GOD. honestly ay.
• you can't earn blessing. 

just some thoughts. don't judge. :)

mmmm

so you know that feeling when you eat mcdonalds and its good but then you regret it.
yeaaah that happens with me and blogging, so i wrote this blog the other night. went to bed. and remember just as i was drifting off to sleep thinking that i should get up and delete it haha.
so then i came on yesterday and realised that my blogs are way to emo. but actually not really. just kinda.

i was at Granddad's last night and i was looking through this little book of quotes. it was mega cute, and then i found one that went something along the lines of.. if you're not getting what you want out of life then take a look at your level of enthusiasm. And then i remembered that enthusiastic meant "in God" and i realised the true beauty of this quote.

so i have this obsession with cute little christian movies. some of them are good, some of them are so terrible but they're honestly amazing haha. they're all so cheesy, but they're so so good. mmmmm.

in other news, my computer is currently downloading (slash trying to) three free new songs from the parachute bands new album. I'm so excited.. WAAAHH here's the link if you're cool enough to read this blog. http://dld.bz/68Nr

exams are almost over. well kind of, and i'm so excited for getting my life back. :) i haven't been to a friday elevate, a leaders meeting or a night church in like three weeks and i've truely missed it. however i secretly think jesus is stoked with the fact that i actually studied for these exams so its ok.

SUMMER CAMP. i truely dont think anybody is as excited for this as i am.
aaaand ALLNIGHTER is only in 3 weeks.

life is truely beautiful. just mega awk sometimes.  :)

haaannnnnout.

just got back from the Ell's. what the heck.. it was like gales after conf. all over again. Whaaaat the??
Got me excited. about life. about school. about people. about jesus. about family. about elevate. about the future. about everything really.
sanks Ell's. sanks Jesus. sanks the world - you are beautiful.

Jesus is a surprising fellow. He always gets ya when you least expect it. But i like that. Surprises. :)

i update my blog to much.

so i used to write little blogs slash thoughts etc to myself on my ipod. but some fool stole that and i'm too cool to write them down with a pen so as a result i write too many blogs. but thats cool. cause i dont really expect people to read them..

tonight was so beautiful. i have honestly never been as excited for an elevate service as i was tonight. and expectations were exceeded times a bazillion.
there's a few times in my life. where i've felt so in love with god. one was at camp. one was this one day when i was driving over the train bridge going into tawa. and one was tonight.
i had tears in my eyes tonight. it was beautiful. there was unity. there was family. there was jesus. life's amazing.
basically i just love life. mmmhmmm. sad i'm not going to relient k though. happy however that we have leaders meeting with ps. jurgen. so thats beautiful.
bedtime :)

why should we have to wait until someone has died to tell them how amazing they are.

Life.

today was rachels funeral. It was really sad but it was a beautiful service that celebrated her life.
i cant really comprehend death. my brain cant really get around the fact that
a. someone is gone.
and b. they're hanging with Jesus. like as in JESSSUUUUUUS!
the weather was nice. it was a beautiful service. the hangout afterwards was so beautiful. i went for a walk up in the belmont hills and had some sweet quiet time on the top of a hill looking over the hutt valley and the harbour with not a cloud in the sky. today was nice.

i think that Rach did truely know how much we and everyone else loved her. we say things we dont mean. we think things that aren't true. we're influenced by circumstances around us. but she was loved and she knows it. nobody can tell me different :)

i count it a blessing to be apart of a family of five. a family of five hundred. and a family of like over a billion. life is beautiful. people are beautiful. elevate is beautiful.
the end.

note to self.

after reading my last few blogs i have officially made a deal with my brain not to write blogs after like 1am because they just turn out as  pile of nonsense. sort of. had a beautiful night making very little sense and road tripping home from elevate.

see totally unrelated. good night.