numerous times this week i have gone to write a blog, or at least thought of writing a pre-conference one. but i just dont know how to put my expectation into words, how to even start to explain how excited i am. honestly i know for a fact that this is going to be our best conference yet, that i will not be the same person next monday, that our nation will be changed. honestly. i cant handle it, ill be lucky if i can sleep tonight. im pumped for a beaut day tomorrow, breakfast with the orans girls, school for a bit, lunch with the orans girls, school for a bit, then CONFERENCE! seriously that is a beautiful day, and considering its been amazing weather for a good 10 days i bet it will be sunny. ijn. the sunrise was beautiful today, as much as i dont enjoy going to school at 7am for house music almost every day at the moment, i thoroughly enjoy watching the sunrise as i drive to school. life is pretty much awesome. Jesus is pretty LOL, love him so much. sometimes im semi-gutted walking into camps or conferences when life's already awesome, cause I decide before i even go that i wont have an awesome testimony coming from it cause i dont have a huge battle or huge illness or something that needs fixing. but if we start good, and know that God will move, imagine how we will be by saturday night.
potentially never been more excited in my entire life.
big call.

humans.

today i spent a good 5 or 10 minutes just staring at this photo of me when i was like 2 or 3 years old. it just amazed me in so many different ways...

how it looked like me, but it it seemed completely different person.

how the brain that tells me every thought, and does everything for me is the same brain inside this little kid in the photo. and the heart that keeps me alive, is the same heart beating in her chest.

how our memories fade, i mean  i dont ever remember looking in a mirror and seeing a baby looking back at me.

i guess i just look at it, and see how much of life hadn't happened then, what i hadn't been through, what i hadn't learnt, what i hadn't experienced, just everything i am now, i wasn't then. like though it's me, its really not. and it got me excited about the future, imagine one day looking back at my 18 year old self and just saying, look how young i was, look what i hadn't done yet. i'm pumped.

babies amaze me. human life amazes me. the future is beautiful, and tomorrow could be the day that determines everything. wow. 

i think way too much.

life's awesome.
babies are cool.

smet gart.

oh my, so i've been thinking about a getsmart blog today. but i don't quite know what to write to be honest.

it was a beautiful week, its funny how much power is in the title of a conference. it was an amazing thing knowing walking into the start of getsmart knowing that i would encounter him in an unreal way, and knowing that i wouldn't be the same afterwards. not cause somebody had called it that cause it sounded cool, but because it was what God had placed on their hearts. in fact i remember thinking last year as i watched the promo for this year, that it would be an amazing week.

i remember on thursday night. just sitting there, with 23 of the awesomest people on the planet, in a room of thousands - so proud that i was from arise. Ps. John honestly was amazing, he's kinda like our church dad haha. it was cute.

oh man God is good. i love life. i love elevate, like so much. i am legitimately so so sad that i have to leave next year, but it will be good.

i am probably the weirdest person i know. not always, sleep deprivation does weird things to people. honestly.
that was the randomest three photos of getsmart. oh well. life's beaut.

well.

• I love Aimee Lennan an awful lot. she's very wise.
• it's time for a new list of secret favourites, i'm excited for this list, very excited!
• i love that even if you spend 23.5 hours doing absolutely nothing it can still feel like a productive day if you've gone for a run
• i legit love youth meetings. i've always been secretly mega gutted when they've been like GUESS WHAT? YOU GET A NIGHT OFF! i'm like what is this? i dont wanna hangout at home by myself.
• i need a break from people every now and then, but i think everyone does :)
• i think i'm tired, but i've been sleeping lots so i cant quite work out whether i truely am or not
• i think that i'm one of the most not-insecure people i know... however i bought Paul de Jongs book today and i feel that i'm about to be proven wrong... we shall see.
• getsmart is less than a week away, that makes me so excited
• God Is Able is a beautiful beautiful album
• i think the world has a messed up view of perfection
• i love the hutt so so much
• i'm pumped about Laura's dance concert tomorrow, oh man she's gonna be so good eeeeeeeep :)
• maybe i should plan to do no study tomorrow, then instead of procrastinating i could just enjoy life and have some sweet QT
• i love life. i really really do.

in hindsight.

i probably should have cut some points out instead of just talking double speed. oh well. :)
i love the hutt so much. so much like family i want to cry!
#hutt4life

psychingmyselfout.

thoughts are powerful.
i'm excited.
i think i low key over reacted, i'm nervous but pretty much just pumped.
life is awesome. 7 more days of school. tash comes home tomorrow. getsmart is ridiculously close. 2g on friday. church wide tonight. eeeeeeeeeep

ps. i totally have a bible crush on Moses. he's the man.

]

one year.

oh my, it is a crazy thing how much can happen in one year, how much can change, how much can happen to you, how much you can grow, how much you can hurt, how much fun you can have, how many people you can meet, how many friendships can grow, how many people you can move on from. Basically a year is a long time.

LOLing at the fact that nobody from last years birthday party is coming to this years birthday shindig. thats psycho, like honestly just a testimony in itself of how crazy the past year has been, like a whole new set of friends. ive lost a lot of friends, i've made a lot of friends. i've failed a trillion times, but i've succeeded in stuff too. i've had some of the hardest days ever, but some of the awesomest memories in the world. i think thats life though.

as you getter older, life becomes better and harder and worse at the same time. it becomes more unpredictable, you have the best times ever, the funnest times of your lives, but as you grow up, and as you grow in God you learn a lot, and you find yourself going through stuff you really dont want to.

when you're a kid. life's easy, life's fun. But its kind of boring, you dont decide much, your parents do that.
I like growing up, but it definately comes with its challenges.

its crazy when you carry something around for so long how different it feels when you finally get rid of it. God gives us gifts, gives us things that he will use for good. But when we take what he's given us, and keep it, take control of it, and do what we want, or what we think is right. it messes a lot of things up.

"you have forgotten your first love... do the things you did at first"

at first you had no idea what you were doing. you were just so in love, you just gave him everything. you didn't know how to pray, how to be a 'good christian', how to counsel someone, or how to do anything. this scripture is beautiful beautiful beautiful. it doesn't say 'do the things you've learnt how to do', 'do the things everyone expects you to do', or 'do the things that you think are right'. it just says do the things you did at first, the one thing. and thats just Love God. everything else will follow 

life is awesome. legitamately so beautiful. freedom is a beautiful thing. giving it all back to him. eeeep :)
ps. bek burke is awesome

georgia.

georgia taggarts a hottie.
and pretty much the only person i know that reads my blogs every now and then.

(ps. never paid you back for this icecream!)

but seriously, i realised the other day how truely amazing she is. 

like so so amazing.

and so beautiful.

and so strong.

and the nicest person i know (tied with Anna Braczek haha)

and i dont say that lightly, all legitimate honest calls.

seriously girl, i love you so much. x

peer pressure is a funny thing. to be honest, i dont really care much at all about what other people think of me. but it really bugs me when people say stuff or do stuff to other people. it takes no courage, no bravery, no integrity, no strength to follow the crowd, but all of those things to stand up for what you believe in. to follow a crowd is one of the easiest things a man can do, to not do something even when others are, that should be respected right there.

little nugget of wisdom for ya.

revelationchaptertwoversetwo: i know your deeds, your hard work, your perseverance... you have perservered and endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet i hold this against you, you have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen!"

perseverance, is a hard thing. cause the thing about perserverance, is you don't really know how long you're going to have to perservere for a lot of the time. today i went for ANOTHER run. yes, two in two nights. it is a miracle haha, but thats the easy kind of perserverance, it's easy to keep running cause i know exactly how far it is till i get home again. but when you're holding out for something, waiting for breakthrough, hoping for someone to get better etc. a lot of the time we can keep running, but especially if we don't know how much longer we have to keep going for, we often forget why we were doing it in the first place. and when we lose that, we lose the purpose behind everything.

we had an awesome meeting tonight. i honestly love the people in my life so much :) i'm so proud to be a hutt girl, just cause the other hutt leaders are the coolest people on the planet and its honour to be amongst them.

first love.

i bought a book about smith wigglesworth trip to Wellington today. 

i'm pumped to read it, will be fab.

birthday next week.

scratchies, LOL. running against the grain.