twothousandandeleven

So i'm going to be honest here, i've never been happier for a new years to come around. Beautiful night, beautiful people. 2011 is actually going to be amazing, i'm so pumped.

a lot is going to change this year, i'm not quite sure what i want from 2011 other then to have an amazing year.. but i do know that i dont want to, in a years time, look back with regrets. the funny thing about life is that we are faced with decisions every day, and the thing is that in a lot of those decisions, one thing is going to lead you closer to God and the other the opposite. imagine what you could do in one year if every time you were faced with a decision you made the right one. so its totally unrealistic, and a lot of the time we actually dont know the right one.
but the point is, that every decision, and every circumstance we can actually control. so this year the one thing that i do know i want to do, is give every moment, every decision, every conversation, every test to God. cause i think 2010 has been a year of giving my all in some areas of life, but a year is enough time to change the world.

so thats exactly what i plan on doing :)

hard things.

i really enjoy comfort. i enjoy safety. i like to think i'm a risk taker.. but if comes to anything big, or scary i'm not keen at all.
today i was sitting at the beach and i was thinking about life, and how much has changed in the last few years.
i'm a real good avoider of doing hard things, just cause i hate them. which is bad. but the thing is, somethings that were hard for me a year ago, or 10 years ago.. i wouldnt even blink an eyelid doing now. two years ago when someone asked me what i did in the weekend, my heart would like pop out of my chest just cause i was so scared when i told them i went to church, or even the idea of attending a christian group let alone attempting to start one made me nervous. it's been a beautiful journey...
i know that i haven't been called to livea comfortable life, which is what, in all honesty, i do a lot of the time... but so often i just put off what i know i've been called to do, or what i have to do because it feels too hard, or i'm so consumed by fear. but the thing is, when i realised how easy things are that used to be hard... i realise that what scares me now, could in a years time be something i do on a daily bases. inspiring.

the longer we take to leap. the more fear consumes us. the less likely we are to take a step. the further away the day is, where what seems like the hugest jump to take now, is simply a small stepping stone in the walk of life.

cats.

i love cats.

they're so friendly and soft.
i remember in year 9, brittney just came over one day before school, walked into my room when i was still in bed and simply said 'hey if you were like an alien from another planet and you saw a cat wouldn't you think it was like the weirdest thing in the world?' and its true. slash all animals are kinda weird when you think about it.
but like a cat is just like a miniature furry human that cant talk and walks around on all its legs.
i woke up this morning to find my parents had decided they're giving my cat away.
not calm.

in other news... i'm thinking that it's quite convenient that i know that i'm weird... because if i didn't acknowledge that i would be the randomest random on the planet.



suns out today. weeeeheeeee.
finished the book laura lent me.
it was beaut.
nothing to do... nowhere to be... good or bad i'm not quite sure??

meh.

best friends birthday.

christmas is so beautiful. makes me think about a lot of stuff...

for example today when my grandpa started eating the wrapping paper from his present, i thought about how the concept of benjamin button isn't all that weird. i dont really like that idea of getting old, but in a way babies/children aren't that different from old people. they're both pretty weak and vulnerable, need other people to help them live. i guess you kind of are born and die in a similar state... slash really thats not legit cause i'm kinda refering to people with alzheimers. okay scrap that. 

i woke up at 5 this morning, real pumped for my santa sack only to wake up and find it not at the end of my bed, turns out he put them under the christmas tree. whada a sneaky fella. went to church, it was adorable. had lots of food, an afternoon nap, and finished watching the first season of gossip girl (i know so holy and festive - dont judge)

Laura Boot is cool. she leant me this book, i think i'm going to have to read it again once i've finished, just cause its so well.. dense. and i cant really take it all in, maybe cause i cant fully comprehend God's love. i dont think any of us can, we limit God to things we know on earth in so many ways. it's pretty crazy really, but i enjoy the mystery that is Jesus. i dont think anyone will ever have christianity 'sorted'. i remember when i was younger, i used to look at leaders or pastors or just most christians, and wish that i could have it like them. in the entire world there are like a bazillion different twists on christianity. how can one person ever have it exactly correct without being all proud and up themself about their denomination. however i dont really believe that things like how old the hymns you sing are, or what version of the bible you read (within reason :D) actually are gonna make a difference in the end, its just Jesus.

God is just huge. point is although i'll grow in so many ways, i might not have christianity down. i'll never fully understand god's love or his hugeness, i dont think i'll do a lot of things. but thats because he is SO huge and SO great and SO many good things.. and nobodys perfect. and weren't born perfect, and we wont die perfect. we just gotta do our best to do whats right in between..

its late and i'm rambling. we're going white water rafting in the morning, i'm pumped.

Also getting so so so so so excited for 2011 in so many ways. i'm thinking sometime before school goes back i might just go on holiday with jesus for a couple of days. just us two, it'll be beaut. 

Jess Baker.

I truely love that woman.

Love is in the air.

Oh mama, at the moment you honestly do not have to look far to find all the relationship business. There's the newly weds, the newly engaged peepz!! The cute little couples, the dramatic scandalous flavums and the crushes haha. They're honestly EVERYWHERE. Like taking over the world...but not actually. i'm like helllo i think i'm in the minority falling into zero of these catagories. I'm just like uhh... JESUS? :) But it's beautiful, and seeing as i'm being honest.. a little bit entertaining slash cute just to observe!!

Also realised how many amazing people there are in my life at the mo. Like people i've never really considered friends or good friends before... but people like Briana, or Mollie or just like cool people like Angela Matuafale... or cute people like Aimee Lennan. I think this summer is gonna be one, not just hanging with that many school friends... but to be honest i am stoked. Loving life. Loving people. 

Christmas mince pie delivery almost had me in tears, no lie. It's one of the things that i actually like thoroughly enjoy doing for church . Like one of the top 10 things all year, don't know why i love it so much. But i do... maybe it's how quickly someone's face changes when they realise that you're just there to give them a christmas present, or the excitement that something so small can bring to people, or maybe cause it makes me value what i've got an appreciate what i have.
I am so proud of our church.

Production tomorrow.

Mount Maunganui tomorrow.

Road trip tomorrow.

Appartment tomorrow.

Beach Tomorrow.

Sun tomorrow 

LOVING LIFE.

loving life.

this is why i love life. okay Jesus is why i love life, but honestly i can't imagine life without elevate. Like what a legit team we have. Tonight was beautiful, i really enjoyed it.

So like 2 weeks into the holidays already have had a bazillion beautiful memories.. which has led me to the conclusion that i should document this summer in  a scrapbook. I'm pumped cause it's going to be an amazing summer!! Weeeeheeee.

Life is beaut. mmmmhmmmm.

i love sneaky blogs.
mainly when i can sort of put some thought into what it might be about, or take a guess.
when i have absolutely no idea it secretly annoys me. but i just really enjoy being able to see life from someone elses point of view. beautiful it is.

i'm really sad that this friday is the last elevate until.. well camp i guess! oh my giddy aunt camp is only like a month away, okay jokes this is just exciting now!! However it's sad i'm stoked that we're not finishing the year with the allnighter, i honestly LOVED it, but by the end everyone is just keen to get home and it ends real buzz kill. in my opinion anyway.
pumped about life.
coffee with jo tomorrow. kids party. leaders party. thursday hanging out with the coolest cats on the planet. then all in and party at ket rhi and annas. saturday baking hang out. christmas mince pies. packing then sunday CHRISTMAS PRODUCTION and then road trip to mount maunganui. it's going to be an amazing few days.

haha in other news. trying to stay excited for next year, way harder but its okay.
YAY

bad is good?

this year has honestly been craazy.

like so much good, a fair amount of bad and quite a lot of in between :)

i reckon the end of the year is such a beautiful time of reminiscing and loling over everything thats happened, but its totally also like the biggest time of regret for me.

too much regret is bad, cause you'll miss oppurtunities cause you're living in the past, but  i think a little bit is good. regret is what makes me want to do better next year, it makes me want to improve. it's what makes me realise the potential i have and realise how easily it can be wasted if i sit around and watch the world go by. if i didn't regret anything at all, then i don't think i'd ever grow cause i'd have nothing i wanted to be different next time. but i'm talking about good regret, not the kind where you just sit there moaping around cause of a stupid choice you made a year ago, i'm talking like the type of regret that sees you into the future.

i guess lots of 'bad' things are good in small quantities. like fear of being judged, slash judgement in general. everyone at school knows i'm a christian, and i kind of like that cause its sort of like in a way i have an expectation to live up to, to represent Jesus. i know that if i swore, or drank or did stupid stuff people would judge me, and see it as hypocritical. however i guess thats more expectation than anything else.

and you know.. pride. bad in big quantities but you need a bit or you'll not be pleased with anything you do or who you are. hmm could go on forever but tired..

however right now it legitimately looks like i've been punched in the face. twice.. thats how bad my bags are. true story.. woke up this morning and was like 'oh poo i have rubbed mascara round my eyes, spent like 5 minutes trying to get it off before realising it was actually just the bags under my eyes.. slightly embarrasing. oh well see ya.

oh. and emily has a horse.

and cause it's worth it's own post...

on monday night my life changed, there we were at the apartment. when all of a sudden it came to me... rainbow paddle pops dipped in choc whizz. without a doubt the best food on the planet.. :)