hard things.

i really enjoy comfort. i enjoy safety. i like to think i'm a risk taker.. but if comes to anything big, or scary i'm not keen at all.
today i was sitting at the beach and i was thinking about life, and how much has changed in the last few years.
i'm a real good avoider of doing hard things, just cause i hate them. which is bad. but the thing is, somethings that were hard for me a year ago, or 10 years ago.. i wouldnt even blink an eyelid doing now. two years ago when someone asked me what i did in the weekend, my heart would like pop out of my chest just cause i was so scared when i told them i went to church, or even the idea of attending a christian group let alone attempting to start one made me nervous. it's been a beautiful journey...
i know that i haven't been called to livea comfortable life, which is what, in all honesty, i do a lot of the time... but so often i just put off what i know i've been called to do, or what i have to do because it feels too hard, or i'm so consumed by fear. but the thing is, when i realised how easy things are that used to be hard... i realise that what scares me now, could in a years time be something i do on a daily bases. inspiring.

the longer we take to leap. the more fear consumes us. the less likely we are to take a step. the further away the day is, where what seems like the hugest jump to take now, is simply a small stepping stone in the walk of life.

cats.

i love cats.

they're so friendly and soft.
i remember in year 9, brittney just came over one day before school, walked into my room when i was still in bed and simply said 'hey if you were like an alien from another planet and you saw a cat wouldn't you think it was like the weirdest thing in the world?' and its true. slash all animals are kinda weird when you think about it.
but like a cat is just like a miniature furry human that cant talk and walks around on all its legs.
i woke up this morning to find my parents had decided they're giving my cat away.
not calm.

in other news... i'm thinking that it's quite convenient that i know that i'm weird... because if i didn't acknowledge that i would be the randomest random on the planet.



suns out today. weeeeheeeee.
finished the book laura lent me.
it was beaut.
nothing to do... nowhere to be... good or bad i'm not quite sure??

meh.

best friends birthday.

christmas is so beautiful. makes me think about a lot of stuff...

for example today when my grandpa started eating the wrapping paper from his present, i thought about how the concept of benjamin button isn't all that weird. i dont really like that idea of getting old, but in a way babies/children aren't that different from old people. they're both pretty weak and vulnerable, need other people to help them live. i guess you kind of are born and die in a similar state... slash really thats not legit cause i'm kinda refering to people with alzheimers. okay scrap that. 

i woke up at 5 this morning, real pumped for my santa sack only to wake up and find it not at the end of my bed, turns out he put them under the christmas tree. whada a sneaky fella. went to church, it was adorable. had lots of food, an afternoon nap, and finished watching the first season of gossip girl (i know so holy and festive - dont judge)

Laura Boot is cool. she leant me this book, i think i'm going to have to read it again once i've finished, just cause its so well.. dense. and i cant really take it all in, maybe cause i cant fully comprehend God's love. i dont think any of us can, we limit God to things we know on earth in so many ways. it's pretty crazy really, but i enjoy the mystery that is Jesus. i dont think anyone will ever have christianity 'sorted'. i remember when i was younger, i used to look at leaders or pastors or just most christians, and wish that i could have it like them. in the entire world there are like a bazillion different twists on christianity. how can one person ever have it exactly correct without being all proud and up themself about their denomination. however i dont really believe that things like how old the hymns you sing are, or what version of the bible you read (within reason :D) actually are gonna make a difference in the end, its just Jesus.

God is just huge. point is although i'll grow in so many ways, i might not have christianity down. i'll never fully understand god's love or his hugeness, i dont think i'll do a lot of things. but thats because he is SO huge and SO great and SO many good things.. and nobodys perfect. and weren't born perfect, and we wont die perfect. we just gotta do our best to do whats right in between..

its late and i'm rambling. we're going white water rafting in the morning, i'm pumped.

Also getting so so so so so excited for 2011 in so many ways. i'm thinking sometime before school goes back i might just go on holiday with jesus for a couple of days. just us two, it'll be beaut. 

Jess Baker.

I truely love that woman.

Love is in the air.

Oh mama, at the moment you honestly do not have to look far to find all the relationship business. There's the newly weds, the newly engaged peepz!! The cute little couples, the dramatic scandalous flavums and the crushes haha. They're honestly EVERYWHERE. Like taking over the world...but not actually. i'm like helllo i think i'm in the minority falling into zero of these catagories. I'm just like uhh... JESUS? :) But it's beautiful, and seeing as i'm being honest.. a little bit entertaining slash cute just to observe!!

Also realised how many amazing people there are in my life at the mo. Like people i've never really considered friends or good friends before... but people like Briana, or Mollie or just like cool people like Angela Matuafale... or cute people like Aimee Lennan. I think this summer is gonna be one, not just hanging with that many school friends... but to be honest i am stoked. Loving life. Loving people. 

Christmas mince pie delivery almost had me in tears, no lie. It's one of the things that i actually like thoroughly enjoy doing for church . Like one of the top 10 things all year, don't know why i love it so much. But i do... maybe it's how quickly someone's face changes when they realise that you're just there to give them a christmas present, or the excitement that something so small can bring to people, or maybe cause it makes me value what i've got an appreciate what i have.
I am so proud of our church.

Production tomorrow.

Mount Maunganui tomorrow.

Road trip tomorrow.

Appartment tomorrow.

Beach Tomorrow.

Sun tomorrow 

LOVING LIFE.

loving life.

this is why i love life. okay Jesus is why i love life, but honestly i can't imagine life without elevate. Like what a legit team we have. Tonight was beautiful, i really enjoyed it.

So like 2 weeks into the holidays already have had a bazillion beautiful memories.. which has led me to the conclusion that i should document this summer in  a scrapbook. I'm pumped cause it's going to be an amazing summer!! Weeeeheeee.

Life is beaut. mmmmhmmmm.

i love sneaky blogs.
mainly when i can sort of put some thought into what it might be about, or take a guess.
when i have absolutely no idea it secretly annoys me. but i just really enjoy being able to see life from someone elses point of view. beautiful it is.

i'm really sad that this friday is the last elevate until.. well camp i guess! oh my giddy aunt camp is only like a month away, okay jokes this is just exciting now!! However it's sad i'm stoked that we're not finishing the year with the allnighter, i honestly LOVED it, but by the end everyone is just keen to get home and it ends real buzz kill. in my opinion anyway.
pumped about life.
coffee with jo tomorrow. kids party. leaders party. thursday hanging out with the coolest cats on the planet. then all in and party at ket rhi and annas. saturday baking hang out. christmas mince pies. packing then sunday CHRISTMAS PRODUCTION and then road trip to mount maunganui. it's going to be an amazing few days.

haha in other news. trying to stay excited for next year, way harder but its okay.
YAY

bad is good?

this year has honestly been craazy.

like so much good, a fair amount of bad and quite a lot of in between :)

i reckon the end of the year is such a beautiful time of reminiscing and loling over everything thats happened, but its totally also like the biggest time of regret for me.

too much regret is bad, cause you'll miss oppurtunities cause you're living in the past, but  i think a little bit is good. regret is what makes me want to do better next year, it makes me want to improve. it's what makes me realise the potential i have and realise how easily it can be wasted if i sit around and watch the world go by. if i didn't regret anything at all, then i don't think i'd ever grow cause i'd have nothing i wanted to be different next time. but i'm talking about good regret, not the kind where you just sit there moaping around cause of a stupid choice you made a year ago, i'm talking like the type of regret that sees you into the future.

i guess lots of 'bad' things are good in small quantities. like fear of being judged, slash judgement in general. everyone at school knows i'm a christian, and i kind of like that cause its sort of like in a way i have an expectation to live up to, to represent Jesus. i know that if i swore, or drank or did stupid stuff people would judge me, and see it as hypocritical. however i guess thats more expectation than anything else.

and you know.. pride. bad in big quantities but you need a bit or you'll not be pleased with anything you do or who you are. hmm could go on forever but tired..

however right now it legitimately looks like i've been punched in the face. twice.. thats how bad my bags are. true story.. woke up this morning and was like 'oh poo i have rubbed mascara round my eyes, spent like 5 minutes trying to get it off before realising it was actually just the bags under my eyes.. slightly embarrasing. oh well see ya.

oh. and emily has a horse.

and cause it's worth it's own post...

on monday night my life changed, there we were at the apartment. when all of a sudden it came to me... rainbow paddle pops dipped in choc whizz. without a doubt the best food on the planet.. :)

summmmmmer.

since saturday i've driven almost 1300km. that's quite a while, you know to tauranga and back and out and about. but the thing is i really really love driving, from taupo to the mount and back was beautiful cause it was like road trip with friends. but my fav is 5 hours with just me and jesus, i honestly sit there talking to him for hours and it's so beautiful i LOVE it. let's be honest if i was at home for the day there's no way i'd be able to have a 5 hour quiet time and not be distracted, and that is the beauty of a car. hanging with Jesus today, was beaut but pretty sure i'm not gonna get worship captain, positions come tomorrow i think, but it's okay. i've sort of realised that i was a better leader before i had a title.. not a title as such, but sort of.

i've always believed that leadership is an action, not a title. You're not a leader cause you're called one, you're a leader when you stand up for what you believe in, you're a leader when you have people that you're leading and they're following you, you're a leader when you are a good role model and you're a leader when you're proud of who you are and people look up to you. So i don't care about school council, i know i'm a leader and thats cool, i don't have to lead at school.

the last five days have been so beautiful, i tried bullet pointing this holiday, but it just doesn't do it justice. and the best things aren't necessarily things, but more like personal jokes, or small beautiful things like eating home made pizza on the beach while the sun sets, or just laughing or listening to music or taking photos. going on holiday with old friends is beautiful, cause you can actually leave EVERYTHING behind. i love holidaying with wellington peepz, but you share the same world and so you're sort of constantly reminded of the bad as well as the good. going on holiday with the Taupo girls was amazing cause i didn't have to worry about a thing, and i like that.


recently i've been getting so excited about 2011, whilst getting annoyed with how much time i wasted in 2010. but it doesn't matter cause i honestly believe SO much will change next year, i want to leave something, plant something, start something big. not cause i want this to be about me, but just cause i want to be a part of leaving a legacy at chilts. next year is going to be amazing, i know it. better than 2010 i can tell :)

yeah and that last photo's just there to show you how good i am at cartwheeling :) hahahaha

inspired.

so i've been inspired, or have i been uninspired...  to stop writing blogs.
i really enjoy reading them, but i secretly wish that i could go back to when i wrote them and knew nobody really read them. it's true, i need to start up a whole paper and pen shindig... or just carry this on with less emotion. okay sounds good. well i'm probably not going to stick to this plan.. but for now.

so tonight was prizegiving. it's cute, lets be honest i got a distinction in relegious studies.. pretty sure it's just cause i'm a christian cause we've only had one test and we all got the same mark. so shot Jesus for making me look brainy just cause we're friends.
but the point of this, is every year i get to prizegiving and sit in my seat watching people get awards and think .. 'next year it's going to be different' or next year i'll serve more, or work harder, or get better grades etc. then before i know it prizegiving comes around and i'm doing nothing but playing trumpet solos in the orchestra. PAHAHAHAHA. but seriously.

pumped about life. pumped about a new year. pumped about 2011 in general. kapai chilton, you picked a good head. :)

december.

november was  very bloggy month, to say the least, and i wonder if december will follow in its footsteps. being realistic the likelihood of this is very high.

tonight we had carol service, then i wanted to go to the end of elevate so i went straight from town in my uniform. oh it was great, so hot and stylish... leading me to the conclusion i should just wear it every week.
these vids have to be the most adorable videos in the world...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvNYAtDzVkc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flZVm1FNEnc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOHf5xIYSrA&feature=related

i'm going to taupo on saturday. brooke's baptism on sunday. then road trip to the mount for a few days with the taupo girls :) it's a beautiful thing that we still spend time together 2 and a half years after i'm gone. so so beautiful it's exciting. and mount maunganui is like my favourite place in the world.

still feels like i'm tying up all the loose ends of this year. don't think i'll quite feel free until prizegivings over, schools over on friday, speech exams over on sat.

5 hour quiet time. i'm so pumped eeeeeeeeeeee. driving is the best, it's just like me and jesus in a capsule on the road for 5 hours. with no distractions, honestly it's gonnna be goooood.

i registered for summer camp tonight. slash last night, exciting stuff!!

boring blog. sozzzas bwt dat.

lots of blogs.

today was a nice day. it consisted of church. waitangi. sunburn. heroes. ambrosia. dinner with my maths class. i realised i'm going to miss my maths class, how pathetic. but tonight was fun, we stayed at our teachers for almost 5 hours... sad. i had the most intense game of pictionary in my entire life. i know jesus knows we won cause we blatently said saddle before tashs team. cheats. anyway beautiful day.

when i got home mum saw my sunburn, wasn't impressed.
she told me that i should stay inside tomorrow then said "stay out from 10-3". i was like "stay out IN the sun from 10-3 paahahaa" good one kate. (noticed i'm whippingg out the really bad jokes at the mo, gotta stop that).
then all i could think about was 'be in the world but not of the world'. my mum blatently meant stay out of the sun, but changing one word i made the statement the complete opposite by saying stay out in the sun.
when i was younger i didn't really get this verse, i didn't see the difference between being in it and of it. but today after a little speech about sunburn (YAY for the doctor mum) i realised that they are complete opposites.


beautiful day. however noticed i spend lots of time with the hutt girl leaders/d squaders/key people. kind of like the inner sisterhood circle. however much i enjoy that, current personal goal is to hang out with more people. i really like the town kids, and the tawa people. lets be honest i love everyone at elevate, but we're huge and there's still lots of people i dont know. mmmm thats todays thoughts. :)

summmer

i like planning summer, cause otherwise i'm scared that i'm going to waste the whole thing away. so here goes my to do list...

go camping

sleep under the stars.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. summer camp.

mount maunganui.

so i give up on photos... but:
get a tan
allnighter
CHRISTMAS
road trip - i am determined!!
read harry potters
actually practice the drums. mum threatened to sell them the other day, which is quite a legitimate call cause i never ever play them, but that WILL change. ijn.
go to sommes island.

i give up it's too late. i'll edit when i think of more. :)

ps. i sometimes wish i was Jonah, it would be gross but quite cool to be able to tell people you'd been swallowed by a whale.

badabumbumbaaa

so i haven't blogged since wednesday. and pretty much tuesday cause it was at like 12.10pm wait no 12.10am. i don't really like that 12:10 is am when it's the middle of the night, its not morning yet. well not in my head anyway.

anywaaaay.
so i've realised how many ways you can honour Jesus. i like that we have a dance team at church and that they can use their talent to bring praise to God. i like that i can honour him in my study. i watched facing the giants and i like that they can through football. so many people confine God only to what's in church, or to preaching the gospel etc. If you get to the point in your life where you're going to church too much that you depend on it for input into your walk, i think that's lame. we can grow in God in so many other ways than church, but i totally LOVE church, like it is honeslty amazing like doing life with people, being inspired and all that. But so often we judge people for not coming, or think that the people that are the most committed to church, are the most committed to God. I just think that there are so so many ways to bring him praise, and often it's them that take courage to do rather than sitting in on a service where everyone loves Jesus.

I really like this verse..
Revelation 3:7-8 These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. ⁸ I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.
i think this is beautiful. it's totally like a 'no earthly thing can get in the way of the promises God has for you' sort of shindig. i reckon it totally means it's never too late. If God has opened a door for you, even if it feels like ages ago, then nothing can shut it and it's totally still there to walk through.


i really do love the bible.


christmas is less that a month away. whaaaaaaaaat the!!


allnighter is two weeks away.


camp is less than 2 months away.


life's amazing!!

addicted to blogging.

ok so i'm no really addicted , i just really enjoy it.
it's funny. so so funny, but i think God shows be stuff through blogging. maybe just through writting down what's in my head. i'm just too lazy to get a pen and write it down on paper.
but more than writing blogs though, i love reading them. it's funny cause i feel like i know people way better, so when i see them it's like hello i know what's going on in your brain at the moment.
but people are super honest, not that they're lying in real life. it's kind of just another dimension of world. really just enjoy deciphering the mysterious ones, being inspired by the uh.. inspiring ones. laughing at the funny ones. marvelling at the beautiful ones. just love them all... and people say i dont read. pffffttt.

i can smell the freedom.

so i realised the problem. it's funny cause these last few weeks I've been reminded of real simple things, things that if i told someone i'd have some huge revalation and explained it they'd probably be like 'oh this is awkward i thought she'd been a christian her whole life' sort of things.

i thought that blessing had flowed for ages then just stopped. in hindsight, that is the most ridiculous thought in the entire world, but it's cause for so long he blessed with me with stuff that seemed impossible. but today when i came out of my chemistry exam, i realised that this whole time it never stopped. It was just more subtle so i was able to just pretend it was luck, like the fact that i've prayed for every exam - and finished every paper, and actually knew the answers. and the beauty that some of the people that have come to elevate have come so so so far, and changed so much. it was like seeing them saved was amazing, but after that the fact that they changed so much and fell in love with God so much, it was just expected or something ridiculous. and that last night we had our last family dinner for three months and my bruv prayed before he went to ghana, that he took a bible with him. that everything he does is for my good, just doesn't always feel like it.

i don't really think i need glasses, because i can't imagine seeing the world clearer than i do, like i've never really been to the optometrist. for all i know i could have terrible vision, but i just don't know anything better.
i think that's what it's like before you know Jesus, or before he opens your eyes to something. we live our lives, and we don't know any different. but he has so much more for us, we just have to go to the optometrist. LOL

after tomorrow i'm pretty much free. HI-FIVE. eeeeeeeeeee. its summer, in just over 12hours.
we find out in like 2 weeks about council.
oh and Briana Foote is probably the loveliest person i know. she's amazing. life's so beaut. thats all :)

beautifulness.

honestly.
 baptism services are so amazing. i'd be lying if i pretended that i wasn't crying well before the baptiseeee's were on stage. honestly ay, eeeee. i la la la loveeee watching someone hop into the pool and actually come out a different person. like you can see it on there face. i really like how this time last year i was baptised, invited tash to come and now one year later she's being baptised. i've kind of looked at the fact that i only have one year left of school and thought it's not enough to change lives etc. But she's actually like a living testimony of how much can happen in a year. I love her so much, she really is inspiring :) such a strong leader. i wish i could get re-baptized every time we have one, but i love loving others so its gooood.

we had leaders party last night. it was fun. and awkward. and beautiful. and JUNGLERAMA omGOSH. wow it was truely a beautiful night. :) i reminded myself how much i enjoy mollie, slash a lot of cool cats. is it embarrasing that whilst attempting to be a child again i'm pretty sure i clicked something in my back, and had to like hobble out of leaders party. however like miracle over night cause i woke up fine, i just enjoy that i felt like an 80year old man. great.

it's amazing how much everything changes when i put quiet times top priority. honestly, i didn't want exams to mean i was too busy to chill with jesus, but like complete opposite. if i fail these bad boys its ok cause relationships gone to a new level in the past 10days.

stop writing blogs kate. that's all.

this week i've realised...

• to admire people that are brave enough to share their problems. cause everyone makes mistakes but half of the world pretend they're perfect and judge the ones that have the courage to tell someone or ask for help. i'm not saying that people that don't like sharing stuff are doing the wrong thing, but when someone lets someone into their head, that's true bravery right there.
• God is never wrong. It's funny how when he tells us to do something, or tells us something we so often doubt it. as if we know better than him. well he's GOD. honestly ay.
• you can't earn blessing. 

just some thoughts. don't judge. :)

mmmm

so you know that feeling when you eat mcdonalds and its good but then you regret it.
yeaaah that happens with me and blogging, so i wrote this blog the other night. went to bed. and remember just as i was drifting off to sleep thinking that i should get up and delete it haha.
so then i came on yesterday and realised that my blogs are way to emo. but actually not really. just kinda.

i was at Granddad's last night and i was looking through this little book of quotes. it was mega cute, and then i found one that went something along the lines of.. if you're not getting what you want out of life then take a look at your level of enthusiasm. And then i remembered that enthusiastic meant "in God" and i realised the true beauty of this quote.

so i have this obsession with cute little christian movies. some of them are good, some of them are so terrible but they're honestly amazing haha. they're all so cheesy, but they're so so good. mmmmm.

in other news, my computer is currently downloading (slash trying to) three free new songs from the parachute bands new album. I'm so excited.. WAAAHH here's the link if you're cool enough to read this blog. http://dld.bz/68Nr

exams are almost over. well kind of, and i'm so excited for getting my life back. :) i haven't been to a friday elevate, a leaders meeting or a night church in like three weeks and i've truely missed it. however i secretly think jesus is stoked with the fact that i actually studied for these exams so its ok.

SUMMER CAMP. i truely dont think anybody is as excited for this as i am.
aaaand ALLNIGHTER is only in 3 weeks.

life is truely beautiful. just mega awk sometimes.  :)

haaannnnnout.

just got back from the Ell's. what the heck.. it was like gales after conf. all over again. Whaaaat the??
Got me excited. about life. about school. about people. about jesus. about family. about elevate. about the future. about everything really.
sanks Ell's. sanks Jesus. sanks the world - you are beautiful.

Jesus is a surprising fellow. He always gets ya when you least expect it. But i like that. Surprises. :)

i update my blog to much.

so i used to write little blogs slash thoughts etc to myself on my ipod. but some fool stole that and i'm too cool to write them down with a pen so as a result i write too many blogs. but thats cool. cause i dont really expect people to read them..

tonight was so beautiful. i have honestly never been as excited for an elevate service as i was tonight. and expectations were exceeded times a bazillion.
there's a few times in my life. where i've felt so in love with god. one was at camp. one was this one day when i was driving over the train bridge going into tawa. and one was tonight.
i had tears in my eyes tonight. it was beautiful. there was unity. there was family. there was jesus. life's amazing.
basically i just love life. mmmhmmm. sad i'm not going to relient k though. happy however that we have leaders meeting with ps. jurgen. so thats beautiful.
bedtime :)

why should we have to wait until someone has died to tell them how amazing they are.

Life.

today was rachels funeral. It was really sad but it was a beautiful service that celebrated her life.
i cant really comprehend death. my brain cant really get around the fact that
a. someone is gone.
and b. they're hanging with Jesus. like as in JESSSUUUUUUS!
the weather was nice. it was a beautiful service. the hangout afterwards was so beautiful. i went for a walk up in the belmont hills and had some sweet quiet time on the top of a hill looking over the hutt valley and the harbour with not a cloud in the sky. today was nice.

i think that Rach did truely know how much we and everyone else loved her. we say things we dont mean. we think things that aren't true. we're influenced by circumstances around us. but she was loved and she knows it. nobody can tell me different :)

i count it a blessing to be apart of a family of five. a family of five hundred. and a family of like over a billion. life is beautiful. people are beautiful. elevate is beautiful.
the end.

note to self.

after reading my last few blogs i have officially made a deal with my brain not to write blogs after like 1am because they just turn out as  pile of nonsense. sort of. had a beautiful night making very little sense and road tripping home from elevate.

see totally unrelated. good night.

blog.

i've done a lot of thinking over the past few weeks. it makes my head want to explode but it's good.
it's honestly been the craziest year. slash in particular the last few months.
there's honestly so much going on i dont even know what's happening. but it's a life to the full i guess.

• John 15:18. "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."
• Matthew 10:22 "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."
• John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
• 1 John 3:13 "Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you."

just typed a whole blog. need to work out what to keep to myself, what to share with the world and what to tell like one or two friends.

last night i spent like an hour on facebook talking about heaven with annalise. it got me mega excited. not in like a i want to die way. cause i definately dont. but in a its going to be so beautiful, cant wait to see jesus in real life, nothing will be sad, it's going to be honestly amazing kind of way. even if its stupid i like to think that i'll live in a tree house with an elevator inside the trunk, there'll be a waterfall, we'll have gadgets like off spy kids, i'll own a unicorn and i'll have ropeswings to get to the neighbours place.

life is beautiful. confusing and hard. but so worth it.

how can i be so on to it yet so out of it?

it's been a pretty bumpy week. but good. i think. 

i've realised...

• even if people have stopped coming. every single day i'm planting seeds whether i know it or not and they might well just start sprouting long after i'm out of the picture. just cause i don't see the glory of god in my time with people doesn't mean they won't. god's timing is something i dont understand but i enjoy it.
• i think my life was perfect without exception for about 9 months straight and i dont know how that is even possible. blessing flowed. i honestly saw heaps of friends come to elevate. had the best friends. good marks at school. life was honestly so beautiful. so i think when life went back to how it should be... hard but worth it. i didn't know what to do.
• naturally i just don't like telling people what's going on. but that doesn't mean i shouldn't.
• things don't actually blow over by themselves, they just appear to but are actually just pushed aside and almost without fail pop back up when it is least convenient. 
• i love people so much. is there such thing as too much? cause if there was i'd love them too much. however if the bible says to love people like jesus did then there is no too much. but definately a lot. it's beautiful, but sometimes i honestly wish i could care less.
• everyone actually has problems. which is such a simple thing that i didnt seem to understand properly. and then i find myself wishing i ordered the beautiful shell session at getsmart. typical.

John 15:18 has been on my heart lately... all i've got to work out now is whose thoughts are in my head. and you can hardly compare yourself to jesus if there's geniune reasons people don't like you. so if the world hates you all i gotsa work out is if there's reason or whether i'm just doing what's right.... but i guess it's been on my heart for a reason.

life is beautiful. that in all this nonsense can be such joy. such beauty. such peace. such love. such acceptance. all because of a saviour that died for me.

i really dont think he's an egg.

humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
couldn't put humpty together again

it could have been anything. who's decide that humpty was an egg. he could have been a really hard jigsaw puzzle. cause if one of them fell off a wall it would be pretty hard to put back together.

like this.










or it could have been the magical blue moonstone from tinkerbell and the lost treasure. because she or any of the other fairies couldn't put that back together so i doubt the kings men and horses would be able to either.

it could have been anything. so yes it could have been an egg. but it could have just as easily been like a ceramic cat.

its quarter to two.

its the time. really late at night, where you should be sleeping. or studying... and you've run out of everything else you could possibly do. that means blog time...

i am yet to decide what this blog will be about. so it will just be a brief (or potentially not so brief) summary of EVERYTHING!!

• we're in the middle of mocks. i'm the worst studier in the world, best procrastinator however. BUT i actually studied tonight, for like 4 hours and only covered one of the 12 papers i have this week... AAAAAHHH
• piano exams done and dusted. waiting for results now FREAKING OUT. and i have no teacher now... she dissapeared to dunedin after my exam. literally got on the ferry like 20 minutes after.. so i'm chillin and not playing the piano.

• elevate. where do i flippin start?? it's amazing. we're huge, in like a depth/numbers/coolness factor. it's amazing, and we're only one week into high school blitz. no bigggie.
• life's uhhh interesting? but thats always good i guess. nobody likes a boring life..
• i moved rooms. its a mess. but i enjoy having the piano and drums in my room and DOUBLE BED. praising jesus for that right there.
• Luke moved home on wednesday. it's got its perks. but we have to do groceries like every second day so thats great.
• i just realised how LITTLE there is left of the year. its freaky. then i'm 7th form. then i'm out of school. forever. before i know it i'll be like... NOT A TEENAGER. i dont like the idea that one day i'm going to be old. but it makes me laugh thinking about it.

i think this will be me. in 60 years.

this blog is quite dissapointing really. just a load of nothing.

FAIL.

naaaaw well i'm publishing it anyway. maybe i'll write another one with meaning...

WHAT THE??

Conference was amazing.
I don't really know what to say...
I'm going to be a doctor. that took me by surprise, but i enjoy that i'm relying on God for that bad boy. not too stoked about not staying in wellington after next year... but i'll go wherever i'm called.

I cried on saturday night, when that letter was on the screen. Because i'd never understood how much 2000 people could do, and i realised that we're going to change the world at that moment.

I hate that it went so fast, like one minute it was thursday night then bam it was sunday night and i was in bed and i couldn't really believe what had happened between.

today i was at the MFC for artsplash rehearsal. i'm performing 5 times this week, meaning i'm at the MFC for 8 days in a row... that's crazy. conference dvds were still running on the tvs, there was little bits of conference everywhere. it was like being at home, but not. and if it wasn't for the fact that i've already seen it i'd be very excited about seeing the balcony of the MFC packed tomorrow night. but na... we've been there, and we all loved jesus so it was cooler :D


doctor... hmmm. i haven't even told anyone that yet. should probably get on to that. :D

LIFE.

wellington is beautiful. God is good.

So holidays are over. and i'm very sad, buts it's been a good break.
OPC was amazing. our group was like a family for the week. got to appreciate gods amazingness.
Then i bummed around for a week.
THEN I WENT TO CHRISTCHURCH FOR GETSMART!!
So its been a good 3 weeks really.

i thoroughly enjoyed christchurch for a number of reasons and i think this would be a perfect oppurtunity to use bullet points...

• The weather was freezing but amazing, which made for a beautiful trip
• Hanging out with CHCH elevate was cute
• There was a $2 Op Shop
• The beach was beautiful
• Getsmart was amazing
• James Murray was hilarious
• I thoroughly enjoyed staying with mollie, berni and briana and rachel swifts.
• I felt like a celebrity when that random man followed us for over 1/2 an hour filming us.
• I laughed a lot
• i also cried a bit too
• Fell in love with a new song

Basically it was just beautiful. however now the holidays are over but CONFERENCE IS IN LIKE 3 AND A HALF WEEKS!

so thats something to be excited about right there.

TROPO

elevate camp.

what the heck.

like it actually never seizes to amaze me how much more jesus has for me. I'm so excited for the future, like i think i'm there, or like think i'm as close as i can be to him. Then BAM jesus has another plan. 

so that's exciting.

camp was off the dile.

i like watching boys cry. it's cute.

ben prescott is legit.

expectations were exceeded. jesus is my best friend.

yesterday the weather was amazing, so i took a walk home with jesus. it took ages, but it was beautiful. i saw the sun rise and the sun set. that's a rarity. 

 conveniently i had my camera :D

life is good. jesus is better. i love the world. and i have no voice. all good proof of an amazing weekend :)

iloveblogging.

found this on weheartit today.

it made me lol.

lifes good. so very good. as it generally is.

this week we're submitting a proposal to the school council for a christian group.

im super excited.

annalises brother came to boost on friday. he's so cute. i was so happy. he loved it. :)

tomorrow we have a night off. im excited. im gonna sleeep. and play the piano all night long.

im so excited for june. its gonna be the best month i've had in my life.

4day weekend.

road trip with the girliieeees.

elevate camp.

my birthday.

OPC

then like beginning of july is holidays. which means GET SMART. and no school. and lots of jesus time.

my life is amazing.

dear bek burke, this is for you. hope you cant read it :)

ps. 'angle'

the end.

hooooooome.

im home.
lifes goood.
but kinda weird, and im a bit out of it.

today was a good day.
i went to church twice.
i ate european lollies.
i caught up with people and got lots of hugs.
annalise came over.
i hung out with jesus.

thats a perfect day.

weird how good home feels, and how excited i was for church. yonks more than schooool.
i have an amazing family. and its amazing to be home. i love my life. the end.

i thought it was time for a new blog seeing as its been like a month.
its no gonna be long though cause i have precisely 6minutes and 55 seconds.`So here goes...


Europes amazing but were stuck.
i love it and dont wanna leave but at the same time wanna come home
i can only take so much of this family business :)
im dying without elevate
i have missed 2 weeks of school and am not looking forward to catching up

yesterday i went to disneyland
i love disneyland. its just so happy and fun and amazing.

it snowed in ireland, but that was like 3 weeks ago. paris was boiling yesterday

i miss everyone heaps as
im missing the ball cause of this volcano :( but at least i have next year.

the cruise was super fantastic and flash.`we had super cool waiters, im pretty sure they loved us. there names were hector and alex. they were from honduras, i miss them.`
the only friends our family made on the cruise other than the people were on holiday with is some kiwis. ironic much??
we got 7 course meals everynight.

my fqvourite stops on the cruise were barcelona malta and rome.`
venice, cinque terre, paris and south ireland are my other favourite places. oh and pisa, the whole leaning tower and all.`

the keyboard over here are whack as, but ive mastered the art of them and i can finally type properly.
the internets free here. i like it alot :)

this morning for breakfast i simply ate a whole bagette.
the end

Life...

i dont know what to write. other than life is amazing. cause it is. and my whole world is perfect.

i am the luckiest person alive.

jesus is my bestest friend in the world

i have the best human friends in the world aussi

i love love love church

i have a family of hundreds there. it's cute.

i'm going to europe on friday

we're gonna start a christian group this year

elevate is gonna go off the dile and reach 500

CAMP is only a couple of months away

chilton is awesine

annalise is going to passionate!

i have so much life left. it's exciting.

my world is perfect.

the end.

a few of my favourite facebook status'

LOL

just a few of my favs :)

elevate elevate elevate elevate elevate elevate elevate

elevate is on fire.
like actually.
it makes me want to cry.
which is good.
not bad.
it's VERY good.


so tonight was amazing. actually, i love elevate so much but mixing it up tonight was POWERFUL. so excited about lifegroup this year... no idea how i ended up with my own one. But it's awesome and i love my girls!! it's gonna be a gooood year.
life is so goood, like maybe i'm not human. maybe i'm like a happy factory, ok thats a bit weird. but life is amazing. so amazing. i cant say it enough.
and its all because of j e s u s. feeel sorry for the people that dont know him. life must suck!!!


and prayer meeting before school on MONDAY. lifes going too fast, its like a blur. 2 days to organise that bad boy... but we shall succeed. in jesus name!!


i had something else. it was good, powerful even. but its gone.. :(




wait its back.
leadership is  an action not a position!


who cares whether you have a position, and whether you're labelled as a leader somewhere. who cares... you can lead without anyone telling you you're a leader. and a 'leader' can sit on there bum and not lead anyone.






and thats it for today.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Dr Seuss you are a genius.

I pretty much live off this quote.

 

and That is all :)

my amazing day.

today was good. so very very goood.

it went a kinda like this:
woke up and went and made scones for john key
went to music. in which we had no teacher so did nothing.
had no physics cause the prime minister was coming. talked to prime minister, i'm talking full on conversation here. probably lasted like a minute and a half, AT LEAST.
had morning tea.
had english in which i sat on the balcony and talked to tash and annalise the whole lesson.
had music again... did nothing. except fiddled on the piano.
went to lunch
went to french for 10 minutes in which i failed at attempting a vocab test..
then went and got my FULL LICENSE.


thats it so far. i also missed out the part where i got a parking ticket. just cause it ruins my oh so perfect day.



LG

My perfect place...

I wish i had my own special world...

and i could go there and laugh and talk and sing and dance and cry and shout and nobody would hear me. it would be perfffeeect. in a meadow, with lots of flowers and a river that ran alongside it... and there'd be a huge tree with a tyre swing and a rope swing into the water. and it would always be sunnny.

that is all.

I'm liking this blogging business. Doesn't really bother me i have no followers, its still fun.

A week since last blog. I forget how much happens in a week. We're talking 5 full days of school, two church, a leaders meeting, two elevates, two defensive drivings atm, a doodle pages of homework and 5 home and aways (which is incredibly intense at the moment), 2 greys, probably at least 6 or 7 facebook updates like 30 pieces of fruit haha. OH AND I WORKED in the weekend. Which is exciting, slash actually not but its money making which is always good :)

I'm busy busy busy, but busy is better than lazy i guess. What would i be doing if i wasn't at school or doing homework or earning money or at elevate/church/leaders meeting. probably nothing, more facebook i suspect. So busy's not all bad.

Leaders meeting was so amazing on monday, all sharing our visions for lifegroups and elevate this year. Then elevate tonight, and hutt girls multiplied into 4 seperate groups which is awesome cause it means more connnectedness :D Had 7 chiltonians at elevate tonight, so awesome to see. I love our school haha, even if i'm the only one.


Have spent the last week running from the french teacher who's trying to chase up this french project type homework thing that was due last week so i guess i should stop making excuses and get onto that. :)

Life's Goooood

First Blog

What a crazy week the last 7 days have been. But AMAZING!
Hutt launch was last wednesday, it was off the dile. I'm so excited for this year its actually crazy!
I went to the new comers dinner last thurs cause annalise and tash didnt wanna go by themself. but it was still real good, got to know people i didnt know. Was fun.
Missed elevate on friday but then saturday was leaders retreat and it was so gooood. Highlights were doing dishes with anna naomi and em haha, oh and being stupid with cicada skins with jo haha. But the sessions were unbelievable!! The night one was actually do good, best praise and worship i've possibly had in my life at the end!! it was so cool seeing all the oldies gettting into it tooo. Man i love our church!!!
Its funny, cause i really did not like arise when i started coming, pretty much only went there cause the gales did and they were like the only people we knew in wellington. But so pleased i kept coming anyway cause now its unbelievable!!

Church on sunday was fun, but i was really tired so kinda missed half the message, but went to see valentines day at the movies and that was goood.

Yesterday i had yellow faice paint like warrior lines cause it was athletics. But i got sunburnt so now i have white warrior lines on a pink face. its pretty funny, and i keep forgetting its there haha, AND i ran outta foundation yesterday so now i'm stuck like this. Its pretty funnnny.
Was also em's birthday yesterday, so all the fam and her friends went to strawberry fare but i had to go off to my first defensive driving lesson and not get any haha. YAY, but it wasnt too bad, and it means i can get my full in like 2 WEEKS!! wooohoo.


Well thats me off for now, i've been home sick today. Not sure what's wrong, mum says maybe my liver but i spent the morning lying in bed in like unbearable pain, but its feeling slightly better so hopefully i can go to ELEVATE!!! :)